Laughlin River Run 2008


“So there sits Linda at her desk checking e-mail when CD calls whining (as he often does) that we need even MORE staff to cover Laughlin. So she says, “Get me a room in Laughlin and I can leave in an hour.”

So he calls her back a few minutes later and says, “It’s done.” Linda picks up the phone, calls Lori and yells, “Road Trip!” Lori packs up her Milwaukee Vibrator in CA and Linda packs up her PEZ Dispenser in AZ and north they ride. Their mission, should they decide to accept it – Laughlin River Run. And of course, men, men and more men (Lori put that part in there.) They arrived in Laughlin on Friday afternoon and immediately (like the pipes are still hot on the bikes kind of immediately) Linda manages to get free beer tossed to her off the balcony above. Can you imagine how she accomplished that? First order of duty – how do we fit 4 days of stuff (decadence) into two? Linda, being the efficient, organizer type had their itinerary mapped out in a matter of moments.

Lori, in the meantime got herself dolled up for the men, men and more men. Ok, so now Lori is looking so hot and Linda is on the hunt for the next free beer. We stop by the bikes and along comes a guy with a cooler on wheels needing a cell phone. He can’t find his friends and his cell phone is dead. So we oblige and he returns the favor by offering a cold one out of his cooler. Linda is on a roll with the free beer. She’s been in Laughlin all of 30 minutes and has her second free beer, while Lori is still looking for men, men and more men.

After a quick bite to eat, we decided to check out vendor village. It was obvious that while the vendors were everywhere, the people with the money weren’t. Linda can’t shop very long, without liquid fuel. It can come in any form – Budweiser, Miller, Coors. So, on the way to buy a beer, we stumble upon their buddy with the rolling cooler, still looking for his friends. He borrows the phone again, and Linda now has free beer number 3. All the while Lori is still looking for men, men and more men. At least Linda has a tubular shaped item in her hand. And their buddy actually finds his friends this time. So, no more free beer for Linda, at least from our new buddy. Linda is forced to find another way to get free beer or it’s out with the wallet.

Off to the concert. You know when you’re looking at those little maps they give you and it looks like the hotel is only 2 inches away? And remember, girls can’t measure anyway. The Harrah’s sign is huge, so it looked like it was only 20 feet away. We decided to walk. Every step they took, the hotel moved further and further away. It was all up hill. (The next day Linda clocked it on her PEZ Dispenser and it was 1.6 miles).

We got there just in time to hear Joan Jett fire up. Dang, those media passes can get you into places that you didn’t even know was a place. Joan Jett rocked the house the same way she did in the 80’s and 90’s. She has a new album out called, “Sinner” and her play list included songs off the album as well as some of the old favorites. If you’re a Joan Jett fan, you have got to pick up a copy of Sinner.

Day 1 was an exhausting success. Score 3 free beers for Linda and score zero men, men and more men for Lori.

Day 2 – First order of duty is to be good Quick Throttle representatives. There are thousands of magazines that need to get into people’s hands. Then it’s off to Oatman because CD wants us to see what a “real ass looks like” (the burros). Getting there was not as fun as being there. The wind was howling like a coyote at the full moon. Gosh there were a lot of men there! Oatman was worth fighting the wind.

What a cool town. All the shops were open and people were spending. It was wall to wall bikes, burros and butts. Linda hadn’t even had her first beer yet. From Oatman, it was off to the Avi drags. Once again, those media passes got us up close and personal with the bikes and racers. The races did not disappoint, you had stock, metric, customs and the golf cart vs. the quad. These folks really know how to show you a good time.

Back to Laughlin and it’s time for food! We were in one of the many restaurant lines that will lead to sustenance. Linda turns around and sees a cool young chick standing by herself and when the hostess asks, “how many in your party,” Linda turns around and says, “How about 3” and asks the chick to join them. Shyly, she said yes. Her name was May Kay. What a cutie. They found out that she has one of the most eccentric jobs you could imagine. She rescues exotic animals that require medical attention, training and sometimes a home. She splits her time between Las Vegas and Beverly Hills and as often as she can, hops on her trike and attends a rally. Moral of the story, Linda scored us free dinner (Thanks again Mary Kay), and a new friend, all while Lori is looking for men, men and more men. Maybe we should have gone to Laughlin looking for beer, beer and more beer and free men.

We thought, let’s head over to the Foreigner concert and see what those media passes will do. Bust! So, no recommendation on a new CD since they don’t know if there is even a new one out. No sweat, there were plenty of bands playing under tents in front of the hotels. But, Linda looks at the itinerary and noticed that we almost missed a major event – very major event, Bikini Bull Riding. CD said that this event was a priority, at least to him. What they saw were bikini clad hotties on a platform with a stripper pole, and probably one of the most perfect asses anyone has ever seen. The question is, is it real? Real or not, it was flawless. Check the photo gallery and decide for yourself.

After the pole dancing, came the bull riding. You know the promoters of this event slowed the bull down so the spectators could take it all in. So we got the shots to make CD a happy man, then found more beer for Linda, while Lori looked for men, men and more men.

Linda scored another free beer a hotel bar, while standing there to order. The guys sitting at the bar paid for her beer. Score 4 for Linda, zero for Lori. It’s about this time, we decide to sit and listen to the band outside the hotel. Here’s where it gets really exciting.

Lori spots a prospect. Probably one of the hottest men in Laughlin that weekend. She’s too dang shy to approach, so Linda does the dirty deed for her. Runs and finds the guy and says, “My girlfriend wants to meet you. She thinks you’re the hottest man in Laughlin (and he was).” This shy cowboy smiled and gently said, “Thank you, but I’m married.” Score still stands at 4 for Linda and zero for Lori.

All told a successful trip for Linda and yes, still a fun trip for Lori.